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In this week’s parsha, Shoftim, the Torah enumerates the types of soldiers who are required or
who should be allowed to opt out of fighting. These include those who have
recently built a new home, those who have planted a vineyard but have not yet
been allowed to eat from it, newlyweds, and …those who are fearful and
fainthearted. Obviously, this last group (the only group not obligated to go
home) is different from the first few groups of individuals, yet all of these
soldiers are allowed to walk off the field of battle together. Rashi and Ramban
suggest that doing so in this manner allows the fearful soldiers to depart
without embarrassment, because all of these fighters depart at the same moment.
In the same way, of course, we do not want to embarrass students in front of their peers. When they are corrected, it should be done privately.
Many parenting experts would additionally suggest not embarrassing a child in front of him or herself. In other words, everyone has a certain self-concept (“I am an honest person” or “I am a kind-hearted person”), and there is no reason for one isolated action to the contrary to destroy this self-concept. Instead of saying “you are a dishonest person for doing this,” the correcting adult might suggest “you were probably rushed and didn’t reflect enough before acting in this situation” followed by the admonition “it’s important that this not happen again.” This allows the child to retain the belief in his or her own honesty, while still realizing that this particular action cannot be repeated.
May we all surround ourselves with those able to help us improve in such a caring, respectful manner.
The YA family wishes Noah Levine much hatzlacha in his retirement from JFGA. Noah has spent the last 30 years tirelessly giving of himself to the Jewish community of Atlanta. Yeshiva Atlanta is just one of the many institutions that he has benefited. Thank you, Noah; we are sure that the fruits of all of your hard work will continue to bloom!
Attached is a picture of Rachel Globus, Noah Levine, and me at Noah's retirement party at the Selig Center Wednesday night.
Shabbat Shalom--
Paul Oberman
In the same way, of course, we do not want to embarrass students in front of their peers. When they are corrected, it should be done privately.
Many parenting experts would additionally suggest not embarrassing a child in front of him or herself. In other words, everyone has a certain self-concept (“I am an honest person” or “I am a kind-hearted person”), and there is no reason for one isolated action to the contrary to destroy this self-concept. Instead of saying “you are a dishonest person for doing this,” the correcting adult might suggest “you were probably rushed and didn’t reflect enough before acting in this situation” followed by the admonition “it’s important that this not happen again.” This allows the child to retain the belief in his or her own honesty, while still realizing that this particular action cannot be repeated.
May we all surround ourselves with those able to help us improve in such a caring, respectful manner.
The YA family wishes Noah Levine much hatzlacha in his retirement from JFGA. Noah has spent the last 30 years tirelessly giving of himself to the Jewish community of Atlanta. Yeshiva Atlanta is just one of the many institutions that he has benefited. Thank you, Noah; we are sure that the fruits of all of your hard work will continue to bloom!
Attached is a picture of Rachel Globus, Noah Levine, and me at Noah's retirement party at the Selig Center Wednesday night.
Shabbat Shalom--
Paul Oberman
